Funniest Classic Marriage and Divorce Quotes

Funniest Classic Marriage and Divorce Quotes

We put together this assortment of funny quotes about marriage and divorce, and we are posting them to share a laugh or two!

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
Groucho Marx

On second marriages: “The triumph of hope over experience.”
Samuel Johnson, from Boswell’s Life of Johnson

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”
Louis Grizzard (1946-1994) [Gizzard was married and divorced three times.]

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
Oscar Wilde

“Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.”
Homer Simpson

“You don’t know a woman till you’ve met her in court.”
Norman Mailer

“Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.”
Henny Youngman

“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.”
Elayne Boosler

“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.”
Tommy Manville (married 13 times, to 11 women)

“Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money”
Johnny Carson

“If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?”
Unknown

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